Listening skills
Copyright of Ngee Key
Global Learning & Development (GL&D) for MSD – Leadership Development Trainer, Executive Coach & Advisor , Singapore
Unlocking Leadership Wisdom through Chinese Characters: The Art of Listening
We all know how to listen, right? But have you ever considered the intricate process of listening and its ancient wisdom? In modern leadership and coaching training, we’re taught about active listening, empathy, and effective communication. What’s fascinating is that these principles aren’t modern at all—they’re ancient, embedded in Chinese characters. Take 聽 (tīng), which means ‘to listen. It’s composed of six characters:
耳 (ěr) – Ear: Listening begins with your ears, but it’s more than just hearing words; it’s about understanding the tone and topic.
王 (wáng) – King: This character implies respect. Listening means treating the speaker as a ‘King,’ valuing their words and perspective.
十 (Shi) – Complete: Complete listening involves full engagement. It means giving undivided attention, understanding, asking questions, and offering empathy—ensuring the speaker feels heard and valued.
目 (mù) – Eyes: Listening with your eyes means reading nonverbal cues like body language and facial expressions, which convey emotions and intent.
一 (yī) – One: You are the only one. No one else. No duplicates, no replicas.
心 (xīn) – Heart: listening with genuine empathy, understanding, and sincerity. It involves not just hearing the words spoken by the speaker but also connecting with their emotions, feelings, and perspective on a deeper level.
This ancient character’s evolution reflects a profound shift from passive hearing to active understanding.
It teaches us that 聽 (ting) is not merely hearing and speaking but a dynamic process of listening and comprehending.
Next time when you engage in a conversation, remember the parts of 聽 (ting)’.
Be a better listener, a trusted conversation partner, and watch how it elevates your communication and coaching skills. It’s simple yet incredibly powerful.
Share your thoughts below on how these ‘sub’ characters can enrich in today’s society in your coaching and leadership journey.
The above article can be found on the following link.
Healthy Marriage trait : Shared common hobby
In my July 2024 post , I shared the first healthy marriage trait which is Healthy Conflict Resolution. Then I followed up with several post regarding individual mental health, because good mental health is absolutely important for healthy marriage and communication.
So, today, let me follow up on the series by sharing the Healthy Marriage trait on Shared Common hobbies or enjoyable activities .
Series of 4 videos by Focus on the Family Malaysia
- Healthy Marriage Trait 1 : Healthy Conflict Management
- Healthy Marriage Trait 2 : Shared Enjoyable Activities
- Healthy Marriage Trait 3 : Shared Responsibilities
- Healthy Marriage Trait 4 : Physical Intimacy
Fight for your mental health
Hey Friends!
Teacher’s day is a day to remind us of our “Gurus” , Children’s day to celebrate childhood including our “Inner Child” , and many other meaningful events such as Valentine’s day, Mother’s day, Father’s day, so on and so forth.
10th October is World Mental Health Day. A day to remind us the importance of our Mental Health / Psychological Health or let me called it ” Brain Health”.
Angela Lee, a world champion from Singapore shares her story of mental health and her sister Victoria Lee.
**Attention :
The following website may have stories and video which discuss about Mental Health and may contains references to sensitive information which may be triggering to some audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
https://hope4mentalhealth.com/
If you or someone you know needs help, please bring them to the nearest hospital or seek help from mental health professional.
Other helplines includes:
- Befrienders Kuala Lumpur : befrienders.org.my ( 603-7627 2929 )
- Malaysian Mental Health Association ( MMHA ) : mmha.org.my ( 603-2780 6803 )
- Lifeline Malaysia ( 03-4265 7995 )
What is Gaslighting in a relationship
Before we resume the marriage series, let’s look at a very important aspect of human relationship. It is the willingness and ability to listen, understand, empathize and validate the experiences of the speaker. Doing this in an open minded, non-judgemental, non-critical, loving and respectful manner.
When we negate, minimize, invalidated, dismissed or brushed aside the experiences of another person and instead try to control, brainwash or distort the reality of the speaker, then it is called Gaslighting.
The term Gaslighting was used when there is a story of a couple who were in the living hall of their home and during the olden days, used gaslight for their source of light when there is no electricity. So at one point, the husband began dimming the light gradually. So his wife asked ” why is the light getting more and more dim? It’s getting really dark, i am feeling afraid”. Her husband angrily said in a defensive manner, ” something is really wrong with you, I didn’t dim the light, it is normal and there is no big deal here”. Hence the person who Gaslight distort the reality experienced by another person and make the partner really confused and affected by self doubt and unsure of the accuracy of their beliefs and feelings.
People who uses gaslighting tend to be called Emotionally immature people ( named by Dr. Lindsay Gibson ). One of the example of Emotionally Immature people are those with Narcissistic tendencies.
Here it is, a vital sharing by Dr Henry Cloud, a distinguished Clinical Psychologist.
Michael Phelps, Naomi Osaka and Dr. Vivek Murthy shares about personal Mental Health Journey
This is an absolutely meaningful sharing by people who have experienced the Mental Health struggles. From Struggling to Survivors and eventually Mental Wellness.
I have posted this in Sept 2023. Why am I reposting it here? Simply because, the key to any meaningful human relationship requires every individual to begin the journey of reaching out for help to gain self understanding and self healing from previous emotional wounds / hurting / trauma / emotional neglects.
I firmly believe that it takes two mentally healthy and emotionally healed souls to grow into a healthy relationships.
Michael Phelps, World-famous Olympic swimmer and Naomi Osaka, former World No:1 Tennis star shares their story.
Dr Vivek Murthy, Surgeon General of USA shares his personal story too and about the “pandemic” of loneliness in his book “TOGETHER”.
Here it goes! Click here.
2023 US Open Forum on Mental Health and Sport: Why It Matters – YouTube
