How to protect our marriage and our families?
Do you wish to sustain your marriage and have a meaningful companionship till “death do us apart” . To be able to ride through the roller coaster of emotional ups and downs.
How do we nurture and protect our marital relationships?
In this age and time, the institution of marriage is very fragile and under tremendous threat! Hence it is so important to guard and shield our marriages as well as our families against the subtle attack from the negative and dark forces which seek to wreck every marriages.
First of all, true love is not merely a feeling. It is not a fairy tale story of “living happily ever after”. In reality, it is a commitment. A promise kept. A vow honoured.
What are the promises ?
That both parties will fulfil the needs and expectations of each other. There are 2 categories of promises. Explicit and implicit promises. Unfortunately, these expectations are often not spelt out clearly when love is in the air!
Couples often get together with the assumptions that she/ he knows what to do. But in this case, ignorance is not bliss! If she/he repeatedly does the wrong thing and hurt the other person, it will eventually break the relationship. So, never assume. Talk it over. Trash out the issues before tying the knot! As the saying goes, love is blind.
As such, premarital counselling is absolutely important to trash out differing assumptions and expectations before marriage. In fact, it is vital to discuss the consequences of behaviours which betray the trust of her/ him. Not only the rosy part of the wedding preparations.
One of the implicit expectation of married couple especially woman are marital faithfulness. It is often expected and presumed in a marriage.
So how do married couples protect their marriage with a strong fortress to prevent marital unfaithfulness?
- Self knowledge
- We are human beings.
- Sometimes the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. The flesh may be tempted by greed, arrogance and lust.
- So it is best to avoid temptations and grey areas at all cost.
- Understand the rules of pleasures
- Principles or pleasure part 1 ( Click here )
- Principles of pleasure part 2 ( Click here )
- There is no greater pain than regret.
- Learn to cultivate a large repertoire of healthy and good pleasurable activities.
- Learn to resolve conflicts early before it bottles up and eventually explode.
- Lying is not merely making false statements, it includes withholding truth which our spouse has a legitimate right to know.
- Seek to nurture a healthy relationship and keep the love alive.
- Learn good communication skills.
- Seek to understand that man are from Mars and women are from Venus. ( courtesy of John Gray’s book entitled Man are from Mars, Women are from Venus ) )
- Accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Understand that it is a myth to having a perfect husband or wife.
- Look beyond the behaviour. Beyond those hostile behaviours or hurting words is a vacuum in the heart which is desperate for unconditional love, security, acceptance and respect.
- Learn to forgive each other and never hold grudges. Be a better person and not a bitter person.
- Learn the prayer of serenity
- Be mindful and accountable to each other’s feelings. Be accountable to our marriage vows
