Healthy Marriage Trait 3: Shared Responsibilities
Now, we move on to the next healthy marriage traits which is sharing of responsibilities
Traditionally, for every culture, husband and wife have certain roles and responsibilities expected by the community. For example, the man is expected to work to put food on the table and put a roof above, while the woman is expected to do the housekeeping and attends to the kid’s affair.
However, such norms is mostly outdated.
Nowadays, couples are educated and most of them are working to jointly support the household finances. Therefore , many of the responsibilities need to be divided and allocated through discussion and mutual agreement. A win-win formula based on the principle of “Give and Take” need to be reached so that both would take up their task willingly and cheerfully. For example, I ( as the husband ) would be working full time, fetches the kids occasionally, remove the household trash, doing household repairs, gets involve in my teenage children’s life, organize family holidays, leads the family prayers and many more.
So below is an educational video by Focus on the Family Malaysia on this important area of Shared Responsibilities
Please click the link below :
Listening skills
Copyright of Ngee Key
Global Learning & Development (GL&D) for MSD – Leadership Development Trainer, Executive Coach & Advisor , Singapore
Unlocking Leadership Wisdom through Chinese Characters: The Art of Listening
We all know how to listen, right? But have you ever considered the intricate process of listening and its ancient wisdom? In modern leadership and coaching training, we’re taught about active listening, empathy, and effective communication. What’s fascinating is that these principles aren’t modern at all—they’re ancient, embedded in Chinese characters. Take 聽 (tīng), which means ‘to listen. It’s composed of six characters:
耳 (ěr) – Ear: Listening begins with your ears, but it’s more than just hearing words; it’s about understanding the tone and topic.
王 (wáng) – King: This character implies respect. Listening means treating the speaker as a ‘King,’ valuing their words and perspective.
十 (Shi) – Complete: Complete listening involves full engagement. It means giving undivided attention, understanding, asking questions, and offering empathy—ensuring the speaker feels heard and valued.
目 (mù) – Eyes: Listening with your eyes means reading nonverbal cues like body language and facial expressions, which convey emotions and intent.
一 (yī) – One: You are the only one. No one else. No duplicates, no replicas.
心 (xīn) – Heart: listening with genuine empathy, understanding, and sincerity. It involves not just hearing the words spoken by the speaker but also connecting with their emotions, feelings, and perspective on a deeper level.
This ancient character’s evolution reflects a profound shift from passive hearing to active understanding.
It teaches us that 聽 (ting) is not merely hearing and speaking but a dynamic process of listening and comprehending.
Next time when you engage in a conversation, remember the parts of 聽 (ting)’.
Be a better listener, a trusted conversation partner, and watch how it elevates your communication and coaching skills. It’s simple yet incredibly powerful.
Share your thoughts below on how these ‘sub’ characters can enrich in today’s society in your coaching and leadership journey.
The above article can be found on the following link.
Healthy Marriage trait : Shared common hobby
In my July 2024 post , I shared the first healthy marriage trait which is Healthy Conflict Resolution. Then I followed up with several post regarding individual mental health, because good mental health is absolutely important for healthy marriage and communication.
So, today, let me follow up on the series by sharing the Healthy Marriage trait on Shared Common hobbies or enjoyable activities .
Series of 4 videos by Focus on the Family Malaysia
- Healthy Marriage Trait 1 : Healthy Conflict Management
- Healthy Marriage Trait 2 : Shared Enjoyable Activities
- Healthy Marriage Trait 3 : Shared Responsibilities
- Healthy Marriage Trait 4 : Physical Intimacy
Fight for your mental health
Hey Friends!
Teacher’s day is a day to remind us of our “Gurus” , Children’s day to celebrate childhood including our “Inner Child” , and many other meaningful events such as Valentine’s day, Mother’s day, Father’s day, so on and so forth.
10th October is World Mental Health Day. A day to remind us the importance of our Mental Health / Psychological Health or let me called it ” Brain Health”.
Angela Lee, a world champion from Singapore shares her story of mental health and her sister Victoria Lee.
**Attention :
The following website may have stories and video which discuss about Mental Health and may contains references to sensitive information which may be triggering to some audiences. Viewer discretion is advised.
https://hope4mentalhealth.com/
If you or someone you know needs help, please bring them to the nearest hospital or seek help from mental health professional.
Other helplines includes:
- Befrienders Kuala Lumpur : befrienders.org.my ( 603-7627 2929 )
- Malaysian Mental Health Association ( MMHA ) : mmha.org.my ( 603-2780 6803 )
- Lifeline Malaysia ( 03-4265 7995 )
What is Gaslighting in a relationship
Before we resume the marriage series, let’s look at a very important aspect of human relationship. It is the willingness and ability to listen, understand, empathize and validate the experiences of the speaker. Doing this in an open minded, non-judgemental, non-critical, loving and respectful manner.
When we negate, minimize, invalidated, dismissed or brushed aside the experiences of another person and instead try to control, brainwash or distort the reality of the speaker, then it is called Gaslighting.
The term Gaslighting was used when there is a story of a couple who were in the living hall of their home and during the olden days, used gaslight for their source of light when there is no electricity. So at one point, the husband began dimming the light gradually. So his wife asked ” why is the light getting more and more dim? It’s getting really dark, i am feeling afraid”. Her husband angrily said in a defensive manner, ” something is really wrong with you, I didn’t dim the light, it is normal and there is no big deal here”. Hence the person who Gaslight distort the reality experienced by another person and make the partner really confused and affected by self doubt and unsure of the accuracy of their beliefs and feelings.
People who uses gaslighting tend to be called Emotionally immature people ( named by Dr. Lindsay Gibson ). One of the example of Emotionally Immature people are those with Narcissistic tendencies.
Here it is, a vital sharing by Dr Henry Cloud, a distinguished Clinical Psychologist.
